Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I write this as we are in a Balsamic Moon. The dark phase that is all about emptying. As I wrote in my last post, I continue to feel a great emptying in my being - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. This is not an emptying that is unwelcome. It actually feels really good when I allow myself to embrace it fully. I am cleaning house on all levels. I also recently realized that for me personally, this emptying process began in earnest when my mom transitioned nearly two years ago. Perhaps I am only now really seeing and feeling the emptying because so much has now emptied in these two years.

However it goes, from my own experiences and observing others around me who are also in a state of emptying, I'm of the opinion that "emptying" may be the new "normal", at least for awhile until we are all so empty it is time to fill again.

In the consumeristic paradigm of the supposed "civilized" nations and countries, we have been told and encouraged to obtain as much as possible. More, bigger, "super-size me". The evidence surrounds us and is staggering in its immensity. We have nearly emptied our earthly resources and filled our bodies, minds, emotions, homes, and the environment with what is now proving to be useless junk, jeopardizing our very health on all levels.

There is a new reality show on TV called "Hoarders", about people who live in homes that are filled to the brim with "stuff"— unused items, junk, trash, dirt, mold, rodents, pets, feces/urine, and they are unable to stop filling the space. They have emotional attachment to all these material things. They are losing family members and spouses, sometimes their home, or going to jail because of the hoarding. I watch it on occasion because this is fascinating to me, this state that many people have gotten in of over-consuming. And how hard it is to stop, to empty. I feel deep compassion for all these people who are challenged with hoarding.

Perhaps all those who are consciously emptying are assisting in bringing the pendulum to center and we are giving back to the earth and our environment in some way that we have yet to fully comprehend, let alone see right now. The tale from India, "The Cracked Pot", speaks to this in some ways. I certainly am holding vigil for the balance.

On another note, when my husband and I were recently on a v-e-r-y long drive up the coast heading to Sacramento after going through San Francisco (and empty in that we had not stopped to eat before getting snared in end-of-work-day Friday traffic), one of the experiences I had during some stop-and-go traffic time was the ability to feel in to the landscape around us when we weren't in the city. As we barely moved along portions of the routes that were open land, and me being the passenger, I could really look at the surrounding landscape. What I felt and saw startled me at first, but then came the "ah-hah" moment.

The spirits of the landscapes I observed were conveying a deep sadness and loneliness to me, yet also joy in that I was noticing them, feeling them. Because what has become "normal" here is people in their cars whizzing by, or when in stop-and-go traffic not paying attention to anything other than their cell phone conversations or hand-held video games, and perhaps worst of all, expressing and or feeling anger at the traffic situation, or whatever is going wrong in their lives. I was reminded of the book Listening to Wild Dolphins by Bobbie Sandoz and how she was told by the dolphins that they won't visit and swim with people when there is anger or other detrimental emotions being expressed while in the water - instead, they leave or don't even show up. Yet here these spirits of the land are surrounded and bombarded daily and unable to "swim" away, to leave.

And, sadly, scattered all over these landscapes is litter. Careless expressions of humanity. Symbols and tangible representations of what I call the global-waning-decay-cycle.

This experience was profound for me. I still feel the sadness and loneliness of those spirits of the land I encountered. And thankfully, I also still feel the joy and gratitude of these same spirits for my having given them my attention, for noticing the beauty that they still carry in spite of humanity's carelessness. All they really want is to be noticed, acknowledged, honored and respected. Isn't this something most of us want? I know I do.

Breathing in, breathing out...

Thanks for listening, and may your emptying process be welcomed and embraced.


  1. insightful as ever Jennifer. Your driving story reminds me of one that Karin recently shared of giving Reiki to an octopus at the Monterey aquarium. It swam directly up to her and placed its tentacle exactly where she had her hand on the glass and they shared space. She too spoke of its loneliness, its need for being seen and acknowldged as a natural being.

    Blessings on you and this blog! T

  2. I think I, too, have made similar observations... thanks for sharing yours oxoxoxoxo